It's hard to live without love with the chance that you may
Find the whole world is waiting to hear what you say
From the heart through your veins to the answers that came
Here to save me, to guide me, to show me the way




Rebekah, 16
I don't bite. Much :- )

(oh and if you haven't figured this out, all my entries are below this post. yeah, just in case.)

So my Os are almost over! And it feels awesome. I feel like I've wasted so much time studying and not exactly doing anything productive. Is studying productive? You tell me.

( so i've been thinking... )
Dont you guys hate it when I speak my mind?

ANYWAY. Prom's coming! I know. My mood changes really quickly. I've been eating so much lately and I'm kind of worried cause I'm not growing. In any way. Not growing fatter OR taller. Where the hell does all that energy go to?!?!?! I still think that I have tapeworms lurking around in my intestines. Or I'd be like 2 metres tall by now. So, about prom! I'm beyond excited. I just cant wait for the Os to be over :)

I've been sneezing a lot lately. I fell ill like 2 weeks ago. When the Os first started. Told you I was allergic to exams! On the bright side, if I screw this one up I'll just blame it on my flu. It sucks that I have to leave my school. Dont get me wrong, I hate it, but I'll miss everyone there. They say friends are like the seasons - they come and they go. That pretty much sucks. But its not how long friendships last or how they end, its the experiences gained from them that matter, right? Right.

I'M CRAVING FOR MACARONS :( :( :(

Abrupt endings are awesome!
xoxoxoxoxo

 I'm tired. I said I would study eight weeks ago but I haven't and now I have six left. I'm sorry. I don't want to let you down and I don't want to be let down but I guess I don't have a choice. 50 days to the Os. Give me ten days for each subject and I'll only be able to cover five. I have eight papers to take. I need to do well. I must do well. I can't NOT do well.

I have to stop coming up with excuses
I have to stop procrastinating

Make it or break it. Life's hard, isn't it?

I don't want this anymore.

Due to the fact that the school year is drawing to a close (well, soon enough), major examinations are fast approaching and I haven't exactly mustered up enough dicipline to start studying, I haven't had enough time to blog. Which is why I haven't posted in a long time. But I'm here now, aren't I? ;)

Life's going great and I've been thinking a lot lately. But we'll talk about that another time.
I'm moving back to Xanga. Soon. Livejournal doesn't motivate me :P

I guess that'll be all. Short and sweet!
xoxoxo

okay first things first. i know i haven't been updating for a while and i'm reallllly sorry. i've kind of been busy cause of my exams and all. i won't lie and say i was studying cause honestly, i was busy with other stuff :) like actually RELAXING during our vacation. but as from TODAY ONWARDSSSSSS, i'll start mugging. i'm planning to start on math later on. so i won't be here too often, but i'll do quick short updates on twitter instead...

http://twitter.com/rebekah_lee

follow me or something :)

(p.s thanks for the birthday gifts and everything, and the birthday soup and hot chocolate and toys and bags and flip-flops, you guys are the best!)

xoxoxoxo

HELLOOOOO, PEOPLE! I'm back after about a kazillion years. I'm only posting cause I'm really ill now and I managed to convince my mom that I'm way to unwell to study for Chem. Its paper 1 anyway. Ughhh. I'm so screwed for Mid Years. I'm not proud to say that I didn't study at all. I just flipped through my textbook/ my notes and that was that. Come on, honestly? We have 25 topics for pure Chemistry ALONE. You don't expect me to cram everything in one night, do you? Thing is, when I get bad results, I'd be really pissed about it. I'll start studying, really.

Exams aren't my thing. I find myself falling ill whenever we have them - so I fall ill at least 4 times a year. YAY! Dammit. I'm so unfit. Oh and ANYWAY, I'M TURNING 16! IN TEN DAYS! I know, right. When I was 13 the thought of being 16 was so thrilling. But I guess some things just die off after a while. On the bright side, my parents said that they were gonna give me a big pressie, or a sum of money. I don't know which one I should go with.

I wanted to ask for an iPhone but its just too common. Everyone has an iPhone/ iPod touch. I'm so over that phase. Even though I'm still addicted to Bubble Wrap, but y'know. Thing is, I tend to destroy my cell phones or other electronic products. Take my old cell phones, for example. Fact is, I DO drop them, but they don't get destroyed because I do.

They blank out after I use them for at least 2 months. My iPod (which I've never dropped before), my cell phone (which used to be my dad's cause my OTHERS screwed up - he takes good care of it and it doesnt screw up on him but it blanked out in three days when I got it), my laptop (it auto-shuts down a lot), my calculators (this one happens to be my third) and my hair curlers/ straighteners. Lets just say that I'd scald my scalp if I put them anywhere near.

Maybe I have some sort of mutant powers. But what good would I be? Heck. How disheartening.
So maybe I'll just get cash and go on a crazy shopping spree. Sounds like my idea of fun. I'm rambling again. UGH.

I'm gonna eat now. I'm so freaking hungry. OH I FORGOT TO MENTION that I got indigestion yesterday. I ate at Macs before the buffet, too much at the buffet and then at Subway after that. I went to the toilet at least three times that night. I'm still not exactly put off by the idea of pigging out yet, so yeah :)

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v3d6SFcDys

Freaking awesome :)

The way that you kiss goodnight
The way that you hold me tight
I feel like I wanna sing when you do your thing

///

Its official. I'm unable to prioritize. Our prom, which happens to be, like, 6 months away, seems to be waaaay more important to me than my mid years. It kind of is, actually. I'm planning to mug during june and I don't wanna get into poly so my Mid Year's results are like... siuadhqjhsdjhabsd. You know. And I AM going to study! I don't wanna shop cause I'm saving cash for a prom dress. I don't even know what my prom budget is. Dresses from Faviana are TDF, btw. The only problem would be shipping them over. And actually saving money. But I don't wanna think about that now. Happy thoughts! I don't know if I should get red or yellow - it depends on how tanned I get overseas. I'm 154 (shut up) and Zeek's 172, so we're 18cm apart. If I get 4 inch heels we'd be 8cm apart. Perfect or what? :- )

ANYWAY, I found my weighing scale and I lost 2kg. Freaky or what. I've been pigging out these few days. I don't look any thinner, though. Maybe my muscles are all being converted into fats. I don't wanna talk about it.

I'm online watching Mama Mia for the 384928344979826738942937469th time. I'm such a hopeless romantic. Sigh.

Okay, I've been gone for really really long. But I'm baaaaaaack! And I miss Xanga. Big time. Doesn't matter. Moving on...

School's been crazy, and mid years are in... 2 days. I haven't started studying but that's okay. I have more impt things to do, like planning for prom, eating chocolate, and complaining about my neighbours. The neighbours from hell.

Basically, these lecturers from India shifted to the penthouse on top of my apartment a few weeks ago. Nothing against Indian people.. I love them. Esp those North Indian ones (*big hugz 4 Amar*) but yeah, whatever. They keep fighting, and when they do, they throw pots and pans around and hurl profanities at each other. Honestly? Sheesh. Keep it down! They start drilling at 7 on a Sunday morning (honestly) and play soccer around the house. The little kid probably has some ear problems cause there seems to be a need to keep the television blaring at vol 2381238927839 at 11pm. He seems to have a whole collection of spongbob CDs cause honestly, Spongbob doesn't show on Nick for 3 hours straight!

Either that or there's a Spongebob channel I don't know about, but like I said, whatever.

This place so isn't working out. There's a gym and a pretty pool but there's a snack machine right smack in the middle of both. It's like you spend an eternity running on a noisy machine in a smelly room and then you rush off to the pool and do about 38789237489273 laps and they try to SHOVE CHIPS DOWN YOUR FREAKING THROAT. So you're back to square one but not quite so. You eat and eat and eat cause you have tons of coins left and you tell yourself you're gonna get chips for your brother, a chocolate bar for your mom, more chips for your dad, gummies for your cousin... And you end up eating everything instead.

It's like one step forward, two steps back. But whatever.
I have to study now, but whatever.
I'm really tired, but whatever.

And I really shouldn't be on fb, but, y'know, whatever.

Susan Boyle ftw!

Win win win please!

I feel like moving back to Xanga. Livejournal doesn't make me feel like blogging. Nommmmmm. I don't know what I want, really. With me being extremely fickle minded and all. I feel like dieting but I can't, thanks to my complete lack of self control. Today's Maundy Thursday, btw. The night Jesus Christ was betrayed. Okay, this really gets to me. I seem to bawl my eyes out at every Easter play, but y'know. Give thanks, cause He sent His Son to die for you!

At times I feel as though I'm moving on. I've never really dealt with anything that traumatic before. I have seen distant relatives and friends die, flipped through page after page of every obituary in every newspaper, read articles and books about life, death, love and loss. The dead and those not quite so.

But each time I'm void of emotions.

Everything changed after my granddad passed away. I couldn't look at another bicycle/ ice cream cone/ fishing rod/ fast food outlet/ jewelry store/ bar of chocolate/ Barbie doll without thinking of him. It still hurts, but it all seems to have faded away slightly by now. He's gone, I get it, and I should honestly stop harping on it cause it gets my mood down, but... I feel like a mom hugging her son extra tight as he picks up his bag and gets on a school bus, out of her sight for the first time ever. Not wanting to let go.

Not being able to let go.
It's gonna be your birthday on the 27th, yeye. And I miss you more and more with each passing day.

say hello to paper thin walls and a lifetime supply of jelly beans

bio here i come :- )

school homework myes olevels threepuresciences doublemath + tons of regret
2 weeks to myes. i want As. i NEED As.

stop procrastinating, missy!

 ***

come feel this magic i've been feeling since i met you

aNgStY_kIdZ_93 is gone :- )



The class bbq was super cute. I mean honestly, I never thought my class was this fun. Karimun was great, but we didn't really mix around cause we didn't know each other that well yet. But yesterday was freaking awesome. It would have been better if my baby + Jiaming + Daniel + Fabian + Gabs was there but y'know. It was still awesome.

Pushing into the pool + crazy screaming + good food + awesome company + bitchy security guard + pretty night skies + lots of camwhoring + "PERIOD, PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!" + Indian woman in a bra + a whole lot of fun and laughter. I like.

( pictures! )
I'm so looking forward to seeing those geeks on monday (L)

xoxo

Because of me procrastinating I now have to complete
1. Four sets of A math papers
2. Two sets of E Math papers
3. Eight sets of Social Studies papers
4. A few more English essays
5. Overdue CLB homework

+ I have to study for my sciences.
MYES in 4 weeks! This is crazy. No wonder I'm getting more cranky.

And I am still procrastinating.

H8 SCHOOL. My form teacher is going absolutely insane because some idiots stole or class' broom (I MEAN SERIOUSLY, TALK ABOUT A TIGHT BUDGET!), and every. single. teacher. is finding fault with us just because we're the top class. When we listen to them, they say we don't know how to voice out or opinions and that we should "come out of our shell". And when we DO voice out our opinions, they tell us to shut up, listen, and to stop being so arrogant.

Guess what, our shell is blasted into smithereens and strewn all over the bloody floor.
Take it or leave it.

Physics SPA tomorrow and I really shouldn't be online but check this out:
www.neopets.com/neoplants.phtml

COOL RIGHT! But I think its an April Fool's joke. Tsk. Got me all excited for nothing.

Kbaiz :- )

P.S - I got tricked so many times today. So annoyinggggg.
P.P.S - I'm still not allowed to eat junk food so my awesome friends (NAHT) dragged me away from the chocolate section. Tsk. So annoying! But I'm doing this for the BBQ on Sat.

Yesterday was spent talking in church - I went off to my gramma's place after that. Her older sister's staying with her and they're so alike it's adorable (my granny is WAAAAAY more evil though). Her sister has like tons of pills to take and she's over 80 years old. She has a broken arm, tons of bumps on her cute little head, and she's just. like. my. gramma.

OH GAWDDDDD I SOUND LIKE A SICKO.
(I don't go around raping old people, fyi)

She still managed to smile and joke and be cute (heh) throughout the whole thing though. It's amazing how people whine over tiny little things that don't even matter and cope with the big issues with brave smiles and tons of optimism. Humans are so0o0o0o0o0o0oooooo weird.

EHNEEWAYZ.

I'm getting more frustrated everyday. I find myself standing in line/ waiting for a bus for less then three miserable minutes and then giving up. Pfft. Patience is not one of my virtues. So I end up taking a cab to school instead. And now I'm officially... ALMOST broke. I have a throat ulcer too :( I don't know what you call it but I can't eat junk food anymore. For one week, at least.

See, here I go. Whining again. On and on and on and on. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, there's a bbq on Saturday! I know, right. I'm so excited. Haha. I just want the food :- )

So my ulcer has to heal. Like, now.

Zeek called me a teapot today btw. I mean seriously. What fresh hell. Because I'm "short". AND WHAT, STOUT?!?!?! YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!! Ok, I'm kidding. He keeps nagging me to gain weight. Dammit. He's like my granny now or something. But it's okay, I still love him :D

xoxo